OOO #98: Outfits, Ohio, and Other Things I Like

I've fully transitioned from maiden to mother, the German Village Makers Market, and the official list of people I am jealous of

May 28, 2025

“My mom has a sweater just like that.”

Ohio

On the way home from the zoo the other day, my mom noticed a collection of white tents set up in the parking lot of the Legal Aid of Southeast Ohio and convinced me to go check it out. I have become very wary of craft fairs in recent years, but the German Village Makers Market (GVMM) has completely changed my mind about the whole experience.

The German Village Makers Market did not have a single stall that made me sneer or scowl with skepticism. There were no booths for gutter cleaners or religious sects. While not every vendor was for me, every booth’s goods had artistry and quality, and that I appreciate more than anything. The stand out booths were Collin Williams, Wild Cat, and Angie’s Rainbow Cookies, which I previously had only ever seen at Littleton’s. If I had not just eaten, I probably would have stopped at the Pierogi Lady’s food truck, and if I hadn’t JUST bought flowers, I would have bought some of the beautiful fleurs from Mohican Flower Farm. If you’re interested in a full list of vendors from the May market, click here.

The German Village Makers Market is monthly (calendar here), and I’m looking forward to the next one! The final market of the year is on December 7th, and I bet it’s a wonderful Christmas market. I’m still thinking about a few little treats that I didn’t end up purchasing, which, as a rule, means I should probably buy them. Case in point: I hope Wild Cat is still selling the Ongo Gablogian hair clip. I regret leaving that one behind.

Other Things I Like

I try to keep things positive here, but sometimes you just need to be true to yourself. Therefore, here is my official list of people I am jealous* of:

Margherita of Savoy, Queen of Italy

Not only did Margherita get to live in some of my favorite places in Italy, but also the Pizza Margherita was named after her. Every time you order a margherita pizza—perhaps one of the world’s most perfect foods—you are invoking the name of this person, and that is one of the highest honors of humanity. My jealousy, however, is tempered by the fact that a) she supported Mussolini (bad!) and b) in theory, a pizza can still be named after me too. Perhaps even a superior pizza. How can one improve upon the simple perfection of the margherita pizza? My eponymous pizza would be similar to the Pizza Margherita, but with the addition of roasted garlic cloves, little dabs of ricotta, and some thinly-sliced shards of parm. Thus, the Pizza Giulia is born.

Pierbattista Pizzaballa

This man has the world’s greatest last name. If I’m going to be honest with myself, his full name is perfection. All Italian compound names are amazing, and the prefix Gian is only exceeded by the prefix Pier. Only once have I heard a name that rivaled Pierbattista Pizzaballa’s greatness: Hunter Lyons.

I’m actually very glad Pizzaballa did not become pope because if he had, it would have made me lose my mind. Which leads to my next point…

Any Baptized Catholic Male**

You could become Pope, y’all.

Women who are 6 ft tall

I know I’m going to hear it from women who are actually six feet tall: “It’s so hard to find clothes” “It really limits the dating pool” “People are always making comments” LOOK, I DON’T CARE. You guys are so cool, and I am certain that being 6 ft would give me the confidence I otherwise have to cultivate through “self-reflection” and “work.” BOO. I want to walk into any room with the gravitas of Xena, Warrior Princess!! And I know this would work because I do feel extra powerful whenever I fix my posture and add two inches to my height. Also, I hate not being able to reach things and needing to grab my little collapsible step stool for things my 6 ft husband can swipe without thinking about.

People who can wear pastels

I don’t know what “season” I am but it’s probably not spring as Easter pastels make me look sick. I would wear this suit weekly if I could. Tragically, I will just admire others who look so lovely in pastels. Mostly Catherine of Wales.

People who can eat eggs without getting nauseous or a face rash

How does it feel to be superior to me?

People who are lactose tolerant

How does it feel to be superior to me? Also, you can wear this shirt.

People who have Fourth of July weddings

I had dreamed of a Fourth of July wedding, but since I got married in 2017 (a Tuesday) in DC (where it is typically 95 degrees with 95 percent humidity in July), it just wasn’t in the cards for me. I would have CRUSHED that theme: a gauzy white dress, sparklers, pomegranate cocktails, an ice cream truck, outdoor dining with candles and fireflies, blue toile linens, an American flag wedding cake with strawberries and blueberries with layers of jam, and leaving in a powder blue vintage convertible. It would have been perfect.

END OF LIST.***

*yes, I am aware that the correct word to use here is “envious” rather than “jealous.” Envious describes the feeling of wanting what someone else has, whereas the original definition of jealous is the negative feeling toward someone who you suspect wants or will take something of yours. Modern parlance has blurred the definitions of envious and jealous, and I have used jealous to mean envious for most of my life. MOVING ON.

**except JD Vance. VOM.

***My husband asked if Amal Clooney was on top of the list. She is 100 percent my hero: she speaks many languages fluently, she’s an expert in international law who has actually made a positive difference in the world, the world’s coolest fashion sense (and closet), a great head of hair, and she’s beautiful and spends a lot of time in Italy. BUT this list is a little snarky in spirit, and I want absolutely NO negativity going Clooney’s way. She’s my girl.

That’s it! Have a great rest of your week. Here are some margherita pizzas for the road: